I feel like not enough people understand this disorder. Complex - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a daily struggle. People are diagnosed with this disorder when you have experienced multiple traumatic events in your life. Regular PTSD comes from one traumatic event. Traumatic events can be a range from abuse, seeing someone die and war, car accidents, or a natural disaster, but not everyone who experiences trauma will develop the disorder. I'm not sure, and maybe even professionals are not sure why everyone who deals with trauma doesn't get it, and why are only some people able to develop the disorder. Maybe it boils down to just personal traumatic experiences.
There are a variety of symptoms for C-PTSD, yet everyone is different, so there are symptoms that may not apply to everyone. Also, you may not have every single symptom on the list. Here are a few well known symptoms...
* Physical Ailments: The way the body works of someone with C-PTSD is like bracing yourself. Of course the mind contributes to this too. Your mind, and body are always trying to be prepared for something bad to happen. It starts in your mind, and then your body naturally wants to brace yourself for it. The issue here is that it's not normal for the mind or body to be always bracing yourself. Someone may brace themselves before a fall, or an accident. Someone with this disorder braces themselves everyday. And when you brace yourself all the time, it starts to wear you down, but you are not in control of it. As your body is constantly tensed, it can cause issues like chronic fatigue, and chronic pain.
* Being Suicidal: This is common for someone with this disorder, as they feel it could be a way to escape the severe emotional pain they endure. Someone else may look at it like they should just move on with their lives, but to someone with C-PTSD the pain is very real. Professionals suggest that you should never tell someone with this disorder that they need to get over it, or leave the past in the past. This is not the way they can heal. Healing may come through positive affirmations, and encouragement. Strictly out of love. If they don't have the support they need, they may turn to suicide as an option. Please call a suicide prevention hotline, if you are experiencing this symptom.
* Helplessness: Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to the person with this disorder becoming worse, or re-traumatized. There is a feeling of helplessness, and sometimes the victim longs for someone to save them from what they are going through. This feeling can continue, even after they are no longer in that traumatic situation. They tend to latch on to the wrong person, only to be re-traumatized. A lot of times, they are also re-traumatized by the system as well. As in, judges, therapists, or other professionals who are not aware of how to properly deal with their situation.
* Shame: Sometimes this shame is paired with hopelessness. The feeling that things will never be o.k., even if they are no longer in an abusive situation. When in that situation, the abuser tends to tell the victim that it is their fault, or makes the victim feel like they deserved the abuse for some reason. This brings on the shame of the victim, and also the hopelessness because they are made to feel that they don't deserve to be treated better than that abusive situation, and then become very ashamed of what they endured. If sexual abuse occurred, it can make that shame a little more complex. Because they were violated in that way, it can make them feel ashamed, dirty, or disgusted.
* Childhood Trauma: This is where childhood trauma carries over into adulthood to affect your adult life. The survivor may search for things that were void from their childhood. Things like love, protection, safety, being adored, emotional support, a normal home life. And since they didn't receive these things from childhood, it causes serious development issues, and they will continue to search for it into adulthood. Even if, they are unaware they are searching for it.
* Faith May Be Lost: This doesn't always have to be strictly religious faith. Although, a survivor may go through times where they lose their faith in religion, they may also lose faith in themselves, in relationships, or in other people. Due to the on-going trauma they had to deal with, they can sometimes lose faith in anything good happening to them, or that they will encounter good people.
* Over Thinking: Like I mentioned above, this is where the physical ailments start, in the mind. A person who has C-PTSD has a mind that functions quite differently than your average person. The mind is always in overdrive mode. Always scanning for danger, or potential danger. The average person cannot understand how exhausting this is. Imagine the feeling of when something bad is about to happen. Maybe you get anxious, nervous, a little scared, and maybe jumpy. Now imagine not being able to turn that feeling off. Although, this feeling may not be on 24/7 for the victim, but that is the feeling the majority of the time. This may be a way of coping for the victim. A way to protect themselves, or to deal with the fear of a possible bad situation.
* Flashbacks: There can be a variety of flashbacks when coping with C-PTSD. The flashbacks can be simply visions, like a daydream replaying the event in your head. They can be emotions that were triggered somehow. Maybe the vision flashback also triggers the emotion flashback, or it could be a place, a person, a song, a phrase, even a smell that triggers these visions, or feelings. Then the one that's hard to explain, and can't be properly diagnosed as an actual health issue is where the victim feels discomfort, maybe pain, or some other sensation in areas of the body. Almost like a physical manifestation of the emotional pain. Usually, it's triggered by something, and can cause them to feel the pain of their trauma. It could also be in specific spots of the body where trauma occurred. I also feel like this one is the most misunderstood because people expect you to be able to control it, and that's the thing, it's not something that can be controlled. If it were a choice, we would choose not to have any flashbacks at all.
* Intense Emotion: This one is like the emotions are amplified, whether it be love, irritation, sadness, or happiness. All those emotions are very intense when you are a survivor. The flashbacks are probably the most intense of all. Like survivors are more fragile somehow, you have to be careful how you interact with them. Saying the wrong thing can pause the healing process, and send them back down memory lane.
* Trust Issues: On-going trauma causes a victim to have a fear of trusting people. Since what they endured was most likely from their childhood, or other relationships, they were hurt by people who they trusted. Making it hard to want to trust anyone else. A fear that if they trust you, you will let them down, or misuse that trust. Considering what they went through, it's very common that the survivor may have developed trust issues.
If you are a sufferer of C-PTSD, know that there is hope. Your mind has been taught all things traumatic, all things negative. You were taught that you were undeserving of happiness, undeserving of things other than trauma. That is what you were taught, and subjected to, so I have one piece of advice for you. Reprogram your mind, like reverse psychology. It will take some time, but start teaching yourself the opposite of what your mind was taught. Teach yourself about love, about boundaries, about the red flags of abuse, and that you are deserving of love, and compassion. And remember that you are wonderfully, and fearfully made.